Latest on Ausjenny

Hi All its been awhile since I did an update. Its just over 11 months since I had the operation on my wrist. While the wrist is stable and has healed well according to X-rays I still have quite a bit of pain in it. I saw a specialist this past week and he will be removing the plate hopefully in a few months. This should relieve some of the pain as I can feel the plate when ever I move my arm in certain ways. 

On the Occipital Neuralgia front I am now having lignocaine infusions which take place one day a week for a period of three weeks each time around just over four hours for the infusion and an hour monitoring. Of course by the time I wait around etc it can be up to seven to eight hours. After the first course I had around nine weeks of help. While it doesn't take all the pain away it does reduce it and when I have a major flare it is normally for a shorter time. I have just had my second course. This will happen about three months apart. I wasn't sure if it was working as well due to high pain but then realised the high humidity was causing yet another migraine on top of all the other pain and by taking some over the counter medicine I was able to relieve that one. The weather here has been very hot and higher humidity than we are use to. I have always had migraines from humid weather but had just forgotten. 

I will be seeing a specialist about my shoulder shortly soon as well so will see what he says is wrong with it and if anything can be done. I haven't been reading as much as I would like but have read a couple of books which I will get the reviews up  for ASAP.

Ways Authors can lose a Reader.

This post came about because of thinking when walking. It shows walking is dangerous. I first thought of 10 things that annoy readers but then thought more things that authors do that annoy readers. Below is the result of some of the thoughts. I am also going to do a post in a day or so about what authors do that make a reader happy or how authors go the extra mile but still working on this post. 

Over the past few weeks there have been some interesting discussions on different forums which got me thinking what makes me as a reader not want to read or buy a book by an author. The Book Club Network has had an ongoing discussion about cussing in christian books and then Seekerville had a blog post on social media and I could relate to both. 

Firstly swearing in christian books to me is not acceptable. I tried to read a book last year which had one word which is bad in Australia and just could not read it. The word is not an issue in America which explains why it was up for review. As it was a review book I did let the people who sent me the book know why I could not read it and I did put a review as a warning to other Australians explaining in America it was fine but here it was likely to offend Australians. When I saw the book  in one of the major bookshops here I did put in a complaint. To check I wasn't over reacting I counted how many times in one chapter the word was used and it was 30. The bookshop was understanding and accepted the complaint. I also made comment in person at the Adelaide bookshop and was happy to see it removed from the shelf. I have since found out that if they get complaints about a book containing swearing or cussing they will remover the book from the shelf. Following the discussion on The Book Club Network and giving my thoughts I agreed with most people that swearing and cussing should not be in a Christian book sold at a Christian bookshop. I also talked to several non christians and they were even more horrified than I was that swearing would be in a christian book. In saying this I have since read a couple of books where I have encountered this issue albeit only a couple of words, it was enough that I spent the rest of the book wondering when the next bomb would be dropped. I have to say it disappoints me to find swearing in books and it also is a reason I will probably not buy future books from the author as I would be worried I would be seeing more swearing.

While the  Seekerville post on social media was a positive post alerting authors to the dangers of social media it also made me think of the times as a reader I have read rants about readers by authors on public forums. From posts blaming readers for lack of sales or for being uninformed about certain books, to readers being blasted for a review, to being disrespected for their opinion. I have also read blog posts which call readers ignorant.

On rants about readers not buying books and being uninformed they will turn a reader against the posters very quickly. Authors have a right to there opinions and yes, readers may be annoying etc, but if you want to rant consider using a closed forum where no readers can read the rants or using a writers group. Readers are sensitive and there are so many books out there that if we do get offended we can easily find another author to support. Not all readers read the same books maybe they are not reading an authors book because they do not like the genre.

Being abused for a review is also something that will turn of a reader. A few years ago I read  a book I didn't like. It was one of my bottom reads for the year but while looking at the top ten reads for the year from fellow bloggers many had it in their top ten. While it wasn't a book I liked it was a book many others did, does that make me wrong, no it means my opinion is different but it is still as valid. In this incident my opinion wasn't challenged but I have seen posts complaining about a 3 star review with the author blaming the reader for not understanding the book etc. This is a sure way to upset a reader but it doesn't just upset one, that reader tells their friends and they may even blog about it. It could be a potential loss of many readers.  From a poll at Goodreads a few years back most readers said they preferred authors did not comment on a review as it feels like big brother and they are being spied on and that they feel they can't give an honest review if the author is going to challenge what they say. (I do not have the link to this survey as the person who shared it didn't save the link).

Also on social media if a reader puts up a question or query about books we are looking for balanced answers. For example how do you feel about edgy Christian books? I am asking to get feedback to see what others are thinking. I have posted questions like this (different questions but still generic) and had an author go on the defensive and state it's their right to write like this and if the reader doesn't like it thats too bad. This will also turn a reader off and to be honest having had it happen to me I lost respect for the author, and as much as I liked her books, do not wish to buy or read anymore at this stage. The question was not aimed at the author or any author and was actually aimed at readers. This is where a friend's 24 hour rule can work if a question or comment upsets you before you post sleep on it and if after 24 hours you still feel really strong about it then tactfully respond or send a private message to the reader. Remember unless they state the book or author they may not be talking about your book at all.

The other huge turn off for readers or this reader when they use places like Facebook to constantly ask you to join their author page or constantly sending a link to buy their new book. I have actually unjoined a few Facebook groups where self promotion seemed to be all that happens and one author seemed to be on every group around and daily sent the link to her book. The book maybe a best seller and the best book ever written but I can guarantee I will never buy it or read it.  I have left groups because of this and know other readers who have unfriended people on twitter for the same reason. 

On the same issue authors who add you to their mailing list just because you commented on there blog or a blog they are a guest on and you comment so they think they can add you to their mailing list. Readers will join mailing lists to authors they want to receive newsletters from. The same goes for emailing readers to ask them to buy their new book. Letting us know they have a book out (If you are on there emailing list) is fine but to constantly send reminders will have you blocked very quickly and may lose you readers and yes this has happened to me and the few authors in question no longer have a reader in me.

This doesn't even cover things like red herrings in books that go nowhere and leave me after the book is ended trying to work out why we were told the cat went missing but it was never found now I have to know who stole it, is it ok, why did they do that to me. Don't they know I cant sleep until you tell me the cat is alright. (If its not alright I don't want to know). But that will be another post and hopefully by then I will know what happened to the cat.

More of Ausjenny's adventures.

Sorry for the delay in posting more. I didn't have much access to a computer where I could add photos. Also my wrist has been playing up again and I have to be careful how much I use it.

I still plan to post about my tour but need to work out what to post and may do it over several posts. I will continue from leaving Spokane to Seattle and Port Orchard. It was sad to say goodbye to friends in Spokane and I found it the most emotional of all the farewells. 

I arrived in Seattle after another early start. Once again arrived to rain. It was chilly and was most of the time there. I was able to meet my friend and another friend and we had brunch. I also got to see her friendly Squirrel Rocky (who now has a friend dubbed Rockette.)

I realise I haven't told you of my obsession with Squirrels. When ever I see them I go nuts! I get so excited like a little school kid. They are so cute and I could watch them for hours. (In fact I have even taken little videos of them). We do not have them in the wild (or suburbia) here in Australia and I tend to get hyper when I see them. I got to see a woodchuck also. (missed out on the chipmunks and the only raccoons had had an unfortunate accident with a car).

We had decided to take the ferry to Victoria BC and it was lovely there. Funny the ferry was so rough the first part of the crossing (didn't worry me but others were finding it rough) and about half way through it was calm the same on the way back. The Canadian side was calm!

We looked around Victoria and the second day went to the Butchart Gardens which are so beautiful. The roses were not quite out and the spring bulbs just finished but it was still beautiful. I am enclosing some photos.

They also have a Carrousel which is so cool I had to ride it as I have never ridden one that goes up and down before. But a note if you do ride one do not choose an animal with a tail standing up. its hard to get off and you tend to hit your leg (unless you are younger and fitter). It reminded me of Mary Poppins and I thought at any time we would take off like they did. I had so much fun.
It is a highlight for me. 

We had time to tour the Parliament building in Victoria BC Which is a beautiful building and the stain glass windows are amazing. Also the dome with its pictures is a work of art. It was well worth the visit. They even have people playing some of the early members of parliament.

We had a great time in Canada (and my wallet took a beating but hey I have 2 new hoodies) The last day in Port Orchard we relaxed and took it easy. My friends Daughter came over and we watched Mama Mia on DVD and I had Abba In my head for ages after in fact its still in my head!

I have a great time in Washington state but I was ready to head to Hawaii and some sun!

More of Ausjenny's travels

So much has happened since my last update. I completed an 8 days Historical Highlights tour with Trafalgar tours seeing many revolution and civil war areas. This I will blog more about when I get home as I am limited and want to digest it more.

Then Sunday I flew to Spokane Washington State which started with an early start catching the shuttle at about 5.15am for Baltimore Airport. Then a stopover in Denver and onto Spokane. Here a group of authors and readers were meeting.

This took place not after arriving. I was so tired and feeling so overwhelmed and yes my wrist was back to being strapped. It had been getting worse each day. Had such a great two days with this group. (One had to leave early). Not enough time was had.

Me, Janet Tronstad

Me, Mary and Jillian Hart.

We had such a great time and hearing part of the next novella by Jillian and Janet was exciting. 

I am so glad I got to go and meet all these ladies. Many had been with me online when First I had my health issue last year and then when mum passed away.

This was the sunrise in the morning Tuesday. I got up to see a few ladies off (ok I couldn't sleep). Isn't it lovely. I was so beautiful. It was a great weekend one I wish I had longer time at.

I then headed to Seattle and had a night in Canada. Will talk about that at a later date also.

I am off to Hawaii tomorrow. Can not believe how quick the time has gone.

Traveling with Ausjenny

I thought I would put some of my experiences down of my trip so far.
I left Australia on Sunday at 1.25 pm and arrived at Dallas Airport at 1.10pm the same day.
I found Qantas to be a good flight although the leg room is a little short and the flight on American Airlines had more room. It wasn't a bad flight just long.
In Dallas I was able to catch up with 3 friends (who I won't embarrass here) and had a great time of re meeting one and meeting 2 for the first time. The time just sped by. Then it was a flight to Atlanta. I actually feel asleep on the tarmat and didn't see us take of but woke 5 mins later.

I arrived in Atlanta around 9pm and got to bed around 32 hours after I woke that morning. I didn't sleep well Jetlag hit in bad.

(L to R) Debby Giusti, Jenny Blake, Missy Tippens,
Patty Smith Hall and Patti Jo Moore.

 

It was here I got to meet 3 Love inspired authors and an aspiring author. I felt like I had known them for years. We went to Ruby Tuesdays and had a really good waiter. Very patient and he took great photos. The meal was wonderful and the fellowship way better. It was a wonderful time together getting to know people I have communicated with online and to meet them in person. We talked alot about books and It was sad to say good bye.

 

I then took the bus to Chattanooga where I met my friend for the first time in person but it wasn't like it was the first time. It felt like we had known each other in person forever. She is just like I imagined only 10 times better.  We are having so much fun together but I promised her I wouldn't share photos of us at this stage. I will add a few of my own. We have been to Rock City and Ruby Falls. Now that is spectacular. The Chickamauga battlefield where I was in my element. The guide at the centre was so imformative and we chatted for ages. She appreciated my love for the era and that I already knew so much about the war. We also have seen sites in Chattanooga including a bridge which has glass. Three panels the whole way across with one being fully transparent so it feels like you are walking on a beam and could fall into the river. I walked on this and it was an interesting experience.

 

I have seen squirrels which I adore and also chipmonks, a wild turkey (a little on the thin side) and deer. We had one squirrel seeming to hold us up. It ran on the road and we slowed to a stop and it sat there then got on its back legs and started being cute before running off.

 

Today will probably be the Chattanooga Zoo. Then onto Washington DC tomorrow and will add more as I am able. Having a blast. Jetlag is much better I got a good sleep last night

 

At Rock City

 

 

Ruby Falls

Having fun at the battlefield

 

Outside the Chickamauga information centre.

 



What a difference a couple of days can make.

One Jigsaw done at Christmas 3 years ago.

I thought it was time do to an update. I am staying up til 10.30 pm and let me just say its hard. I understand the need to re-establish my sleep pattern however at the same time its hard when I am so tired. The good news is I am sleeping at least 5 and a half hours a night. Last night I was able to get back to sleep at 4 for an hour or so. While I am still tired I am feeling so much better for the sleep. Things don't seem as hard with sleep. I don't have the same overwhelming feelings. I still feel like I am missing a map or compass in a strange city but I feel I am navigating as well as I can.  I know there will still be hard times ahead but I can do so much more with sleep. 

With sleep comes the energy to eat better. I cooked a roast today. Now I will set this up. Mum taught me to bake but not cook meals. I knew how to do things like Poached eggs, Bacon, Sausages and Spaghetti Sauce which I taught myself but things like roast etc she didn't teach me or let me do. Even simple things like cooking the veggies she didn't let me do or teach me. The first Roast I cooked was not long after she was in the nursing home and it wasn't to bad but next was bad I put water in it like mum did but to much and it was boiled not roasted and yuck. 

Well legs of lamb were on special this week so I got a half leg and decided to cook it today. I even got a new electric frying pan with a love gift from some friends. The one I had was so stained and just didn't look good so I got a new one today. Came home and set it up seared the meat then set it to roasting. I also roasted potato for the first time ever and cooked carrots and peas also for the first time. (I can do carrot etc in spaghetti sauce.) I have to say it tasted good and now I have cold lamb for several meals and may freeze some for later. 

As you can see I am eating better. Still do not have much appetite at tea time but thats ok. I often have milk at night which is like a meal. I am also keeping active with gardening and other things. I have found while tv is so boring at night with little to nothing to watch I have started listening to praise music and am doing a jigsaw. Although right now its at a point I need better light to do the next section. Mum gave me jigsaws the past 2 years for Christmas that I haven't done yet. I normally do jigsaws from Christmas to New Year and mum has given me one for several years now (the past few they have been on special for $4 so I would get 5). I am doing one with kittens at present. 

I would love to read but if I did in bed I would find I had to turn the lights out to early and to read in the lounge room I am to tired to concentrate. I still have an hour to go tonight and right now would love to just go to bed. 

Oh how I miss my sleep

Am sharing a few photos of my tulips today so you can have a pretty picture amongst the post.

I have learnt that sleep is something that is really needed. Without it life is so much harder. I haven't had a decent sleep in over 3 weeks. The one night I was sleeping well we had the vandal going mad on my street. He pulled of a couple of pickets here and smashed the letterbox tried to kick in the gate and broke a picket, throw one picket that hit the house. It woke me from the best sleep I had had that week and then I couldn't sleep. He did a lot of damage on my side of the street. 

The past couple of days have been hard. I have been so tired that little things trigger me. Sunday I cried alot and then yesterday was similar. I was so tired I was just not coping. One thing that does help is walking it gets me out and is good for me.

Today after another sleepless night and feeling so totally overwhelmed I rang to see if I could see my dr and was able to get in today. One question what's stopping you from sleeping, well it could be that not sleeping! The more I can't sleep the more I worry about not sleeping which leads to not sleeping. I was also worried about not eating enough iron as I am not eating well as I am to tired to prepare food and don't know what I really want. I have been enjoying milkshakes but not wanting lots of foods. She said my colour is looking good (compared to what it was its really good) and didn't seem worried about the iron issue so I'm not worried anymore. Also a couple of other things I was thinking on are no longer an issue. It was good to be told I am doing the right things to help me through this time and offered suggestions for sleeping. The hardest is staying up til 10.30 pm which was my old lights out time. I need to try to get back to the habit of going to bed at this time so I have more chance of sleeping. Also a few other things to try. Getting the sleep pattern back will set me up for long term. 

I was having a hard morning but leaving the clinic I felt so much more positive and felt I finally had some answers and suggestions to help. 

I said going in that I felt like I had been put in a strange city and needed to get to point B without being given directions or any clues as to how to get there. It seemed people were telling me I would make it but not giving any directions or information to where the final destination was. I feel now I have at least a clue as to where to go. I am a practical person who needs practical choices. 

I am struggling to stay up tonight but will try to make it til 10.30 and am putting in some of the suggestions. I even had tea tonight and it wasn't as big an effort, I may not have eaten it all but I did eat enough and I don't stress now if I can't eat an entire meal as any is better than nothing. 

Are you ok? The question that I am learning to dislike

Thought I would give an update as I am not blogging as much as I am not reading as I would like.

Grief is a hard process that I honestly didn't understand before. I guess I was naive to think that because mum had been in the nursing home almost 4 years and the fact I had been a carer basically for around 15 years I thought it would be easier as she would no longer be suffering and it would be a relief. Well I was so wrong. Yes she is no longer suffering and I am really happy for that. Mum is where she wants to be in heaven with Jesus and reunited with dad. She has wanted to go home for about 6 or 7 years or more well before she went to the nursing home. I do not miss that mum, that mum was very self centred and at times hurtful in what she would say to me. More than one time I would go out and chop wood to get rid of some of the hurt and frustration. That wasn't the mum I grew up with but I know as some people age and there world becomes smaller they become self centred. 

I remember times going to visit another lady who lived close by when things got tough often with the pretext I will just take this up to Joan and then we would chat and it felt so good. Its sad both Mum and Joan have passed away this year and I miss them both. What I am missing is the mum of years ago who use to cook and leave me some dough to eat as she knew how much I loved it, the one who made treats just for me like at Easter when she made her buns would make one round with no spice at all on them just so I would have some to enjoy. The mum who left a couple of cherries in the pack for me or the can of condensed milk to clean out. The little things that let you know you are special. 

I have never been one who likes to be hugged, occasionally its ok but I really don't feel comfortable with a lot of hugs. I have found people need to hug at this time. Even when I have said please don't hug me I really don't like it they ignore me and make comments like oh you will let me, or you really do need one. (NO I don't). Many of these people are people I know but are not close friends they are people I chat to when shopping etc but are not people I would ring up or visit. I am told its cos they are not sure what to do or say. A few have patted me on an arm and I can handle that much better.  Now for the heading Are you ok? I am doing ok. NO how are you really? This is one thing that can sometimes almost tip me over the edge. I have found that if I don't want to talk I will say I am ok and leave it at that some times so so or hanging in there. I say this often as I really haven't the energy to go though how I am feeling over and over. The How are you really is the one that is hardest. I know the person saying it cares and I do feel for them when I don't want to talk but have also realised I have said this and will now be way more sensitive in future.

Grief is interesting the slightest thing will bring tears to my eyes at times. A card from someone who I didn't expect it from will overwhelm me and I will cry from the thought they care for me, a verse someone wrote to inspire about Death being a reward will trigger tears cos its to raw to read that right now. I know mum is better of and Death isn't the end but reading it now isn't the right time. A memory of what mum meant to someone is so good to read but also beings back the mum I no longer have. I know I will treasure these card and I do look at them when I am able. Writing a thank you card triggered me yesterday. I know I have to travel this path and I know I am not alone and not the first. How I feel is hard to explain, Its partly between lost and empty and alone. (please I know God is always with me so please don't tell me I am not alone) this is a different feeling its like I have lost part of me and there is an empty hole that I am not sure how to fill or what to do.  Sleep is still an issue, I am not getting enough and am so tired which doesn't help. Its now 11 weeks since my health crisis so in all it's been an interesting 2nd half of the year. 

Yesterday I bought some gerbers to plant as a memory of mum. We had some in her floral arrangement and they were so lovely and I know mum would love them. 2 are in the garden 3 in pots that are on the porch and I will enjoy on the warmer days out there reading. 

I am also going to create a memory book of memories from other people. I have been wanting to do this but will hold off for a little while as memories are so raw right now. I think it will also be cathartic to record the memories others have of mum to keep her memory alive. I am not reading as I would like so am way behind in books and reading less than one a week at present. I miss reading and being to tired to read is a real downer but I know I will get though this. I guess like Psalm 23 says "Yeah though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death I will fear no evil for Thou art with me," I know I am in that valley right know and I know I will get through it but at the moment it seems like a really long valley.

Ok enough of this post, this lets you know where I am at and what's happening. I really do appreciate the prayers, cards and support from my online friends it has been a real blessing and I have my gerbers thanks to some of my friends. 

Mums Celebration service

As I mentioned in my last post today was mum's funeral. The above photo is of the flowers that were on her casket and then brought to the church and displayed along with a bible and candle. Mum would have loved them as they were so vibrant and included many flowers she couldn't have in latter years due to allergies. She also hated white flowers cos they reminded her of funerals. We had always said we would have the brightest flowers and didn't matter if they had pollen or not. She loved all flowers. I know she would have approved.

We started with a committal service at the graveside and it was short but moving. Just as she would want. She didn't want people to remember her at the graveside. It was one thing she found really hard about funerals and after on dear friend of hers had a thanksgiving service with the graveside service first she said thats how I want it. I don't want people having to go to the grave and I do not want my casket in the church. I want them to remember my life with thanksgiving as I will be in eternity with God.

I had friends supporting me and a few of use went for a coffee or in my case Iced Chocolate between services. (It was very much appreciated and needed more so than I knew at the time). The celebration service was next and I have to thank my friend Dot who played for us. She played many of the old hymns mum loved and at the speed mum loved. Mum hated when people slowed down hymns she wanted them sung and played like they should be. Going into the service I had 2 good friends with me and she played the hymn thats sustaining me at present but the version Dad use to love to sing of Living He loved me, Dying He saved me. (New version by Casting Crowns is Oh Glorious Day). We sang 2 songs mum picked out for her funeral in Great is Thy Faithfulness and When the Roll is Called up Yonder I'll be there. We also read a couple of readings that were special to her. My SIL read one and her granddaughter the other and read beautifully. My brother delivered the eulogy which was a tribute to mum. It is interesting how some of his memories of mum running around playing trying to catch us I have no recollection of at all. My memory is more of mum in the kitchen cooking with me and playing inside games. In the homily her life verse was the feature my paraphase of it is "The Eternal God is My refuge and underneath are the Everlasting arms." She quoted that verse so often and took great comfort in the fact she never hit rock bottom cos God's arms were beneath her. It was a fitting service mum would have loved. It wasn't sad. I did have some tears but found it uplifting.

After the service its a blurr. The 2 children I mentioned in the last post are now grown up and both were there. It was so good as both Brownyn and Shannon held a special place in her heart. Brownyn's children were there including the baby and it was so cool to see them after several years. We did spend time catching up. Also others there it was good to catch up with. One lady made jelly cakes because I had commented on them earlier in the year saying they reminded me of mum's cooking and she made them because of that. I didn't get  much to eat due to chatting but did get a couple of these. I couldn't tell you half the people there or even most of the people I spoke to or didn't speak to as was the case in some instances.

Mum's 80th album was a hit many came up and said what a great memory it is and I will treasure it and am so glad I created it for her (and for myself as when I made it I knew it would be my memory book also one day).  I am writing this now as although I am exhausted I still can't sleep so am hoping getting the thoughts down will help.

I know mum is looking down and smiling at the great job done today by everyone. Thank you for sharing my memories of the best mum a girl could possibly have.

Happenings with Ausjenny

Mabel Blake born 1919 died 2012 aged 93.

I though I would update everyone on what has happened in the past week.
For those of you who don't know my mother passed away peacefully around 3.50 am on Wednesday morning. She had been in a nursing home for just under 4 years and had been quite ill for the preceding few days. I woke at the same time she passed away wide awake and knew she had gone, I don't know how but I just knew and the phone rang within 10 mins to say she was at peace.

While I am happy for her and know shes with Jesus I am still grieving but not for the mum in the nursing home but the mum who use to bake goodies and always leave some dough for me to eat. Many a morning I would get up to her baking biscuits/cookies, buns or pies and she would always have some dough for me. 

I remember her hospitality. We had people who lived out of town but worked in the town who would often share their lunch hour with mum and sit in the cozy kitchen and talk. Often mum would be cooking and they would keep working while they chatted. No matter what time someone came there was always a cuppa and some yummy goodies she had cooked. I once asked for some type of cake to take to school and mum said but you don't like it that much and my reply was no but this other girl does. Where my brother would swap mum's goodies I just gave them to others. She always had goodies in the freezer and was the first to offer them to people in need or just as a gift when they needed it most. I know a couple of pastors who really loved her buns and I use to love delivering them.

Mum also loved children we adopted one pastors family and the children were little when they came and called her grandma, she taught one to knit and played cricket with the other. When the eldest was having her first child she rang mum to tell her she would be a great grandmother and she was so proud.

She also taught sunday school and Junior Christian Endeavor and late bible studies in our home. She always wanted to be a teacher and felt God gave her the chance in these avenues. 

I am remembering good times and it brings back so many good memories and tears. I know it will take time but I know she is with Jesus and reunited with dad. Today is her funeral which will be both happy and sad. 
I am not sleeping much but know after today it should get easier. I may write more as writing is really helping me at present. The photo was taken back in 1999 when mum was 80.

Latest on Ausjenny

Hi all, Thought I would give you the update on me. I am improving slowly. This week I manage a little work not long but its a start. I am still weak but the dizziness is gone which is nice and I haven't felt nauseated since Monday. Both these are a big improvement. I am struggling to drink 3 litres every day. I am in bed early for a few days by 7pm. The past few days its before 8pm with lights out around 8.15pm. I have basically fallen asleep reading. I am taking forever to read a book which is also annoying me. 


The latest is I now have a cold which has really knocked me. I am hoping it doesn't get any worse as today has been extremely tiring. 


I have a bigger appreciation for people who have illnesses such as Fibromyalgia, MS, and other illnesses that sap a persons strength. I know I will improve where as many with these illnesses suffer on a daily basis. I have also learnt it is ok to ask for help. I don't have the strength to walk down the street to do any shopping  and rely on rides. At present I also get a ride with a friend to visit mum and have to limit it to about 15 mins cos I am just not up to longer visits. I figure I am allowed to take time for myself to fully recover. I am still awaiting the Ambulance bill but have now signed up so that will not be an issue in future.


I have had people ask why I text my friend when I finally got to the mobile phone. Looking back I understand the question and I also realise I could have died on the floor. When I look back its scary how bad the situation was. At the time I didn't know which was good. My mind set was after I fainted and came too which wasn't long my first thought was to try and get warm. I had a couple of towels which I put under me and was able to get a polar fleece blanket I had in the area around me. I then was able to get my parka also. In the back of my mind I knew who I was going to ring and knew I would get to the landline. I was able to move onto the carpet where it was warmer and get to another blanket. I also realised it was going to take time to get to the phone. When I moved to where my backpack was and my mobile. This gets to the question why text my friend 5 hours away. The night before friends knew I wasn't well and that I was worried. My friend said let me know in the morning how you are. This was in my head the whole time I must let Rosemary know. When I got the phone I was almost out of battery, I didn't think to ring 000 cos I wasn't a member of the ambulance and I still thought I would get to the other phone. So I text, "battery almost dead, on floor and I'm scared". I am not sure what I expected. But she rang me and I was able to give the phone number of friends over the road who came found me and called the ambulance. It wasn't until after she rang that I realised I would never have gotten to the other phone. God was watching over me and I am sure he had it all in his hands. I actually wasn't really worried about not being found. I knew it was bad but didn't know how bad. Even when the Ambulance people were saying how much blood I had lost and the fact they couldn't find a pulse in my wrist (which I couldn't either) I still didn't realise how bad it was. 


I want to thank everyone who has been praying for me and sending special messages. It has been very much appreciated. I can't wait for the day I can read for more than about 10 mins.

Update on Ausjenny

Wanted to update you on how I am. What I am learning etc. I can finally say the headache I have been waking up to each day has gone from a seven out of ten to about a one out of ten. This morning it was there but not debilitating like the past several mornings. I am still suffering from dizziness which is frustrating and feel so tired. But today not as tired as I have been.


Friday I got the news that there is nothing to worry about the tests came back negative and while I wasn't really dwelling on it or worried I think the back of my mind was a little worried. The exhaustion has lifted as well. It felt like when you go to the dentist and the anesthetic  is wearing off you can feel the tightness then its fine that is sort of how the exhaustion felt as it left. I am eating better and am using this to start eating healthier. 


I am so thankful for the neighbours and the food they brought over. I have extra in the freezer now which is a real blessing. I am also thankful for friend who have shopped for me as I now am well stocked in iron rich foods. I have never been this weak and lethargic. I actually went 10 days without reading and even now its not the amounts I would normally read but I am reading a little. I am trying to do little things as sitting here is sending me stir crazy. I am not really wanting to watch tv. I have found I feel the cold so much more and when cold have less energy.


I haven't made it shopping yet so no slippers but I have packed a toiletry bag and put it where it can be found so I am prepared in future. The one thing I missed more than anything was a comb. I still need to buy an extra one to put in the bag. 


I have learnt its ok to accept help, I am so use to being independent that its hard to accept help but I need it and am grateful. Having my bed made when I got home was a real blessing. I have a couple of beautiful plants to enjoy which really brightens the room. 


I have a new theme song "One day at a time Sweet Jesus" its very appropriate and I have been playing it a lot. I know I will get better each day and know not to rush it. 


One last comment thank you to everyone who has been praying I have felt the prayers and I have needed them. It is so humbling to know so many people care. I don't have a big network here where I live and to be able to put a request on a board or group in the middle of the night when I was having nightmares and other issues was so reassuring and I know those prayers got me through at least one really bad night.

Why the absence?

Hi all, just wanted to say the reason for no posts for a week is I was one sick little vegemite.
I collapsed at home and ended up in hospital having surgery and needing blood transfusions.
Basically but by the Grace of God I would not be here. I am so thankful for my friend who I finally was able text after around 3 hours on the floor who then rang me and got a friend who came and rang the ambulance for me. I am thankful for the wonderful Dr's where where I am and the Medical staff I know I scared them and several stayed later to help. God provided what was needed in many ways by having the right Dr there when it was needed.


For anyone who knows me well they know I have a major fear of both drs and hospitals. When I was five I had some teeth out and a nurse coming of night duty thought she would have fun with me and said I am so hungry I am going to have a piece of you when you go under for breakfast. I came too to check I was all there. the next time I was in hospital was at 8 where I was terrified from that previous encounter. I have now overcome both fears, I am still sure there is a little bit there but I felt so comfortable there and am so happy. My fear almost killed me.


I am thankful for friends also. I am still coming to terms with what happened and have to realise it takes time to get better.


What I have learnt is that even in the crisis I remained calm I knew I needed to try and get warm and move of the tiles. I knew I couldn't stand so tried to take it slow and got to the carpet. I also learnt clocks are fascinating. I watched it like it was a TV. Also going to buy some slippers and have a toilet bag packed!


I am just so grateful to God for being with me and going before to prepare a way for me. I know it was a close call and know God was there with me he kept me calm. I also am thankful to one of the nursing staff who prayed for me at a time when I was really scared and I wasn't doing well. It was so encouraging.


To my author friends I could see this situation in a book. (Of course it will be a younger person) Maybe young heroine living on own collapses in there back room can't move far or get to the phone. New hero neighbour sees lots of lights on when it is now daylight and wonders if something is up. goes over looks in the window sees heroine on floor and thus the story starts. add to the fact the heroine has a deadly fear of drs and hospitals!


I am still very weak and tired and also dizzy but so much better than I was.

I have been MIA this week.

I am behind this week as on the weekend I had a small accident that really shook me.
I was pruning a tree and the branch flicked back and got me in the face causing me to bite the inside of my mouth and caused a nasty cut on the outside.  The face is healing now but still sore and a little swollen but it is improving. It will leave a scar but it could have be so much worse.
I have learnt some lessons from the accident like having a list of people I can ring and not feel I am imposing.
Due to the accident and then classes the past two days I have fallen behind.
I will be posting my getting to know you Thursdays tonight.

Christmas Focus with Me Ausjenny!

Christmas focus on Ausjenny

I had a few people asking for my memories etc so decided to focus on me today!

1. For you what do you most associate with Christmas where you live?

Here in South Australia when the Christmas parade in Adelaide happens it signels the start to the Christmas season. Also mid Nov- the beginning of Dec the town will put up Christmas banners.

2. Do you have any special family traditions you do at Christmas time?

We don't really have any traditions. We normally have Bacon for Breakfast on Christmas Morning. Its something dad use to do.

The Town as a tradition of carols in the town Square which happens the Friday before Christmas normally. We sing community carols with candles and have some Items and a message. Its a great time and I love the community Carol part.

3. Do you have a favourite christmas Carol and if so do you know why?

I love O Holy Night. The first time I heard it was on Young and The Restless. (must have been home from school that day) But the song was so beautiful. I heard it after and its been my favourite ever since. It sounds wonderful sung by a great tennor like Michael Crawford.

4. If you could spend Christmas anyway you could how would you celebrate?

This is a hard one. I would love to have a white Christmas and join in the fun of sleigh rides, building snowmen etc. as long as I can get back to watch cricket on Boxing day.

5. Do you have any special memories of Christmas?

The year after Dad died we were invited by a friend of mums and her family to spend Christmas Lunch with them. She was also a widow. There was her daughter who was a student, her other daughter and husband and started with one child then 2 use to be there for lunch.

We did this for 5 or 6 years maybe longer. I really appreciated this time it made the day special and it was alot of fun.

6. What is a typical Christmas eve and or Christmas day for you. Christmas eve I normally do some work in the morning, then deliver gifts to the neighbours normally baked goods. At night we normally watch Carols in Candlelight from Melbourne on tv.

Christmas day starts with going to the Christmas day Service. Then opening gifts. Lunch and relaxing in the afternoon. We use to have the family come but mum cant cope with that anymore. Then later in the afternoon I normally start a jigsaw.

7. Do you have any Christmas movies or Christmas books you like to see or read each year?

I have to watch Christmas Shoes I love this movie even though I always cry. I also got Christmas Blessing which is the sequal and will be watching that too. I love watching Christmas movies.

I enjoy reading Christmas books also.

8. Do you have a Christmas message for my readers?

I want to wish all my readers a very happy Christmas and I pray you will all learn something new about the real Christmas story. I Also want to thank you all for dropping by and supporting me this year. I know there are alot of people who read the blog and dont comment here and I do appreciate you all.